My Thoughts on “Babymoons”

Huahine

We have not yet finished uploading our complete account of our “babymoon” on our travel blog yet (Two Restless Wanderers), due to poor internet connection in French Polynesia, and what happened when we arrived home. The night we arrived home, we found that our almost 16 year old cat was sick. We took him to the vet the next day and found out that he had an aggressive liver tumour and we had to make the very difficult decision to euthanize him, so that he would not suffer. Since then, neither my husband nor I have felt like posting to our travel blog, but stay tuned, because the last 2.5 weeks of the trip will be posted soon. Plus, we’re moving in a month, so we’re busy preparing for that. I wanted to post an entry though on observations I made from taking a babymoon. Maybe others will find some of these observations useful in planning one for themselves.

Sunning the bump in Fakarava (wearing lots of water-resistant sunscreen).

Some things to think about when planning a “babymoon”:
1. Have you been to your maternity doctor lately? Does he or she think that you are healthy enough to travel and that your pregnancy is “without complications” and therefore that you could go on a babymoon without severe risk to both yourself and the fetus? If not, then maybe a vacation close to home (and close to your doctor/ hospitals/ insured services) is better.

On a tour of a remote motu on Fakarava.

2. Where are you going?
(a) Are there diseases that are dangerous to pregnancy? If so, what can you do to prevent them. Ie. If it is relatively easy, like insect repellant, maybe it’s okay, but if there’s high risk, it’s probably not worth it. I found it annoying constantly coating myself in sunscreen and insect repellant, but at least this kept me safe and healthy. For some places there are months of pills ahead of time or vaccines that have to be acquired and you can’t take them while pregnant so perhaps going there for a babymoon is out of the question;
(b) Can you drink the water there? I cover this more below. If you can’t drink the water, it creates an added layer of complexity to a vacation that some people just may not be into having;
(c) Is there a lot of food borne illness? I cover this more below. This can create an added layer of complexity to a vacation that some people just may not be into having;
(d) Is there a high risk of crime? No one wants to be mugged, attacked, or have a riot or civil unrest break out on their vacation, but especially not while you’re pregnant and more vulnerable than usual. Read travel advisory bulletins for any country you’re thinking of going to and maybe some blogs or travel forums about what it’s like in various cities you’re thinking of going to;
(e) Can you buy what you might need there or are the stores limited or do they not stock what you might need? When we went to French Polynesia, I knew that some islands had no pharmacy at all and that on the islands that did have a pharmacy, they might not have over the counter medications that I was familiar with or could take during pregnancy, so I took EVERYTHING that I might need. Yes, I didn’t use a lot of it, but better safe than sorry. Same goes for things like sunscreen. You might end up in a place where it’s rare or really, really expensive (French Polynesia is in this category).
(f) Do you have enough prescription medication to make it through the trip plus some extra time in case your flights get delayed or you lose a few pills or get them wet? This includes medications that are PRN medications like for instance antibiotics for an unforeseen urinary tract infection, etc (I get my doctor to write prescriptions for these and I fill them before I leave so that I won’t have to see a doctor on vacation, if one is even available, if something simple like a urinary tract infection arises while I’m travelling).
(g) What’s the bathroom situation like there? North America is the land of easily accessed, free, and often quite clean bathrooms with toilet paper and toilet seats. Other areas of the world may have few bathrooms, pay bathrooms, no toilet paper (always carry Kleenex packs with you), no toilet seats, or just a hole in the ground. When you have to pee all the time when you’re pregnant, this can be not just uncomfortable and annoying, but if you hold it too long, can create urinary tract infections;
(h) How long is the flight(s)? The longer the flight(s), the more foot and ankle swelling (I really experienced this badly on the flights to and from French Polynesia and off and on the rest of the trip in the heat and humidity), risk of deep vein thrombosis (DVT) and other illness, the more exhausting, the more uncomfortable. Plus, if you’re on an Air France flight and you happen to be over about 5’5” you’re not going to have any leg room at all and if someone puts their chair back (which they probably will) you will be crushed. The food is basically inedible (deli meat sandwiches, soft cheeses, or just gross stuff on our Air France flights) or non-existent (Air Canada shorter flights) on a lot of flights now too (I survived by bringing many Clif protein bars with me on the plane). Having to get down the narrow aisles to go pee constant is really annoying too (but getting up and walking around is important for preventing things like DVT).

Drinking coconut water in Fakarava on a snorkeling tour,

3. How far along are you? This includes considering how uncomfortable you are presently/how mobile you are/ active you are/ is your pregnancy normal and healthy or are you having complications/ and can you even get travel insurance (some policies cut off at 31 weeks, some probably before or after this).

On a pink sand beach in Fakarava.

4. Travel insurance- I touched on this in earlier posts- I had a lot of difficulty in finding travel insurance that covered both pregnancy AND the medical expenses of the fetus if it was born prematurely on the trip (and even then the expenses were EXTREMELY limited and would not have done much to offset the cost). This policy I found was through BCCA (but there are lots of exclusions and it only goes up to a certain number of weeks gestation and excludes pre-existing conditions, so if you have those, you have to buy the addition pre-existing conditions insurance that they sell). Read the policy, ask the agent for clarification, try to get your questions answered in writing via email, but as with any insurance, there is no guarantee the company will actually pay out even if you make a legitimate claim.

A sunset dip in the ocean in Fakarava is a great way to cool off in a hot climate, especially when you're pregnant.

5. Cost- having a baby, especially when you have to spend about $15,000 (or more if you’re doing multiple cycles of IVF) to get to the pregnancy stage, is expensive. And from what I’ve been reading, there’s a lot of stuff to buy before the baby arrives, so perhaps a babymoon is not really in the budget and “staycation” or a more low key and close to home babymoon is the way to go. We looked upon our babymoon as our one last “hurrah” before the baby comes and that we won’t be taking any far flung vacations for a while, but stretching your budget if this isn’t easily done will probably just create unneeded stress.

In our private infinity pool at our villa at Le Meridien in Bora Bora.

6. What activities are you considering doing on the vacation? Some are not allowed or recommended in pregnancy including SCUBA, biking, etc. I managed to do some really interesting tours in French Polynesia where I snorkeled a lot and was even in stronger currents by breaks in the reef, but it was always with tour guides supervising and who knew the area well, so that I would not run into dangerous situations. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to keep up with swimming and snorkeling, never having done these while pregnant, let alone in my third trimester, but I was able to swim like a fish, but this was not the same for my ability walk, especially long distances- my body is slowing down to some degree and it’s important to realize you have limits that you may not have had before. If you’re going somewhere just for one particular activity, then it’s important to consider if you’ll be able to do it or how you might adapt the activity to suit your current condition.

Snorkeling in Rangiroa.

7. How difficult is it going to be to live your daily life while pregnant in this vacation spot?
(a) Is it going to be hard to find nutritious meals that your body tolerates and finds appealing? Eating out all the time when you’re used to cooking, or making protein shakes, or just a particular diet, can be distressing for the body- changes in fibre, amount of fat, acidity, etc can impact your body and my body seems particularly sensitive while pregnant. Plus, I’ve been craving fruit like crazy this whole pregnancy and when we reached the final few islands in French Polynesia, they didn’t really have any fresh fruits or vegetables (except for once in a while) at the pensions, restaurants, or even for purchase at the one store, so I ended up feeling pretty desperate for produce. And you have to think of food borne illnesses. I had to refuse anything undercooked or uncooked (like raw fish), deli meat, soft cheeses, etc due to the risk of food borne illness (on past vacations I’ve been crazy and have eaten whatever and have contracted food borne illnesses, but then I was able to take Cipro antibiotics to get over this, but you can’t take that while you’re pregnant, so you have to be much more careful, especially because food borne illnesses can threaten the fetus, especially if you become severely dehydrated or have a fever);

Bora Bora.

(b) How are you going to deal with fibre problems if the food is different and you’re constipated to begin with? I took psyllium capsules and safe laxatives with me and also found prune juice in one location we were in for a week, drank a ton of water, exercised every day, and ate as much fruit and vegetables as I could find. Same for indigestion, make sure you have something you can take during pregnancy with you because foreign food or perhaps rich food that you might only eat on vacation can cause havoc with the digestive system, especially while pregnant;

(c) If you can’t drink the water there, how are you going to deal with this? I require a ton of fluids to begin with and while pregnant, even more so. For almost half of our vacation, we were in a remote archipelago, the Tuamotu islands, with no safe tap water. This meant that we had to either buy the water we drank in bottles, drink other fluids, and load up on as much fluids as we were provided with by the pensions that we stayed at at mealtimes. But it’s really annoying if you’re not used to it. For instance, having to remember every time you brush your teeth that you can’t use the tap water, can’t rinse with the tap water, can’t use the tap water on the toothbrush, etc. is difficult when your whole life you’ve happily drank and used tap water for everything. We were really happy to hit the Society Islands again and be able to drink and use the tap water (especially because in our remote islands the stores were far away, it was super hot and humid, and we had to carry all of the bottles of water back with us, usually on foot);

(d) How uncomfortable is the bed going to be? How many pillows will you be provided? In some of the places we went there was one pillow each. At home I’ve been sleeping with a kajillion pillows to try to get comfortable in the side only pregnant sleeping position. I anticipated this problem and brought one pillow with me (that I also sat on on the place to pad the seat more and provide some low back support), but even this was not really quite enough. In some places we were able to get more pillows, but even then in a lot of places the beds were very basic and hard and it was pretty uncomfortable;

On a tour in Huahine.

(e) If you go on tours, how often will bathrooms be available and how shocking will they be? I can attest to infrequent bathroom breaks being torturous on tours. But the tours themselves were once in a lifetime, so I’m glad that I did them. But be prepared to be uncomfortable and always carry Kleenex packs with you because bathrooms provided may not have toilet paper or you may be finding your own bathroom in nature;

(f) If you’re going somewhere much hotter, more humid, sunny, how will you ensure that you stay hydrated and not burn to a crisp or get “the mask of pregnancy” (which some women apparently get from sun exposure when they’re pregnant)? As I mentioned, I drank a ton of fluids, mostly water, took EmergenC and Gatorade with me and used them regularly, drank things like coconut water when available, rested regularly, and used a TON of sunscreen and reapplied (and wore a hat often and sunglasses and long sleeved shirts after swimming). But this can get tiring and annoying, so if you’re going to choose somewhere very different in climate, you have to be willing to commit. Also, clothing was annoying to find for the trip given that it was a different season and temperature at home than where I was going. I ended up wearing a few summer dresses that still fit from my previous life, found a pair of linen pants in a bigger size to wear on the plane to and from (but they were too hot to wear there), and found a swimsuit that fit well to wear everyday. Plus, I brought laundry detergent to wash things in the sink and a couple of times in a machine. We were gross and filthy by the end of the trip, but we survived (and I spent almost zero on clothes for the trip);

(g) Have you developed any anxieties while pregnant? Some women become afraid to travel or do certain things while they’re pregnant. Thinking that you can just “push through” this might not be realistic and you might not enjoy yourself. Some nervousness is normal. I mean, I had never taken a major trip while pregnant and I was worried, but with deep breaths, regular rests, and a supportive husband, it was okay and proved an adventure;

(h) Do you need access to internet/ WiFi/ cell service- we didn’t have access to any of these for all or part of the trip. It was like being Robinson Crusoe, which we enjoyed, but remember, you can’t just Google some pregnancy related symptom out of the blue, post something to Instagram, contact family, etc. You have to decide how disconnected you’re comfortable being and if you’re having a difficult pregnancy, obviously being this isolated and away from help is riskier;

(i) Where could you get medical help if you needed it? Obviously a checkup with the doctor should be your first step in deciding if you can/should even go away, or at least leave your province/state or country. But if something were to go wrong, what would you do (if you’re around 24 weeks or further on, the risk of having a premature birth where the baby would actually have a chance of surviving goes up and then you have to consider if there is a neonatal intensive care unit at any hospital where you’re going and if you have insurance or money of your own to cover these very, very steep bills)? My husband and I spent time considering these questions when choosing a babymoon location and where to stay, but honestly, in a lot of places there really isn’t any help. There might be a nurse, other than that, you’re being airlifted out (hence the travel insurance and understanding exactly what it covers) and even this is a risk because maybe they can’t get to you to help in time and maybe the medical centre you’re being sent to is still not adequate to solve your problem. It’s definitely a risk;

(j) Are there language barriers that would create problems in an emergency? I speak French well enough to survive pretty well and of course I took the time to polish up my French and learn some new phrases that I’d never had to use before like “I’m pregnant,” but in some places, you might not know any or much of the language. Sure Google Translate might help, but will you have access to an internet connection to use it? Obviously, if you’re staying somewhere bigger like a resort, there is usually someone who speaks multiple languages, but it’s worth considering how you would communicate that you needed help if the situation arose.

My husband walking along the beach in Tikehau.

I am really glad that we did go on a “babymoon” because it gave my husband and me 3.5 weeks together, without anyone around, and no work to impinge on our time together. My husband (who had been travelling for work most of the pregnancy), was able to bond more with the fetus, observing my stomach growing, feeling the fetus’ kicks, and talking to it. I found this very reassuring and the time with my husband made me feel calmer and like I would be better able to handle this new challenge that was upcoming, because I would have his support and love. His love for the thing was obvious as he talked to my stomach and sang to it. Plus, a change in scenery was really good for me mentally too (it helped me get out of my head more, dream, and exercise other parts of my brain like using a rusty language that I don’t usually use, French). Swimming every day except for three was great exercise that was gentle on my pregnant body, some sun, and the excitement of adventure was good for both of us. We met some really interesting people too and learnt a lot. Yes, there were challenges (that you can read about in the travel blog), but overall I’m really glad that we went for a babymoon and that it was French Polynesia, where we had our honeymoon- it was really special and we’ll remember it forever (and the fetus will be able to see pictures of the honeymoon when it gets older and know that when it was in utero it was listening to Tahitian ukulele music, enjoying vanilla sauce in the amniotic fluid, and warming itself under the equatorial sun).

Huahine at sunset.