32 Weeks Pregnant- Aches, Pains, Cramps, Kicks, Grief, Blood Tests, Appointments, Moving, and Probably Less Than Two Months Left

The spring in Victoria is full of flowery delights.

It’s high time for a proper update. The last time I provided a full update on my pregnancy (I’m not including the babymoon post), I was 25 weeks pregnant. Today I am 32 weeks pregnant or just over seven months pregnant. While I was on that babymoon (read upon our French Polynesian babymoon on our travel blog), people were still surprised (and some disbelieving) that I was pregnant, let alone in my third trimester, but there’s no mistaking it now. Over the past few weeks, my belly has grown a lot and is really sticking out now, as the thing has lodged itself high up and its head or perhaps butt is jutting out of my high stomach. I can’t say that this placement is particularly comfortable, especially for my cramped lungs and other organs, but I really doubt if any particular placement is comfortable. I’m just grateful that it's still alive and that I’ve made it this far. I still have trouble believing that I’m 32 weeks pregnant, when I didn’t even think I’d be lucky enough to get pregnant a second time after my miscarriage, even from IVF, let alone carry a fetus for this long (and without any complications at all so far).

I'm still wearing this same tunic as in my second trimester, but the stomach has filled out a lot, so its length has definitely decreased.

I have not noticed any fetal hiccups as some women do when they’re pregnant, but the strength of the kicks from the fetus has definitely been increasing. I notice them more often now too. Sometimes it feels like the thing does a complete somersault in my uterus, which is a totally weird sensation. I can see the shape of my belly change sometimes as it changes position. My husband is already clearly besotted with the thing and spends his spare time away from the office, at home, talking to my belly, singing to my belly, and stroking it.

I have also noticed an increase in “annoying” symptoms over the past few weeks, these include lots of bladder pressure (somebody likes sitting on it and kicking it) and some urgency too. I definitely go to the bathroom a lot, even in the night. I sometimes feel like I won’t make it to the bathroom in the middle of the night in time if I sleep more than about two hours (it doesn’t help that I’ve been really thirsty and drinking water like a fish through the day and night), especially since getting out of bed has become more of a production between extracting myself from my nest of pillows and just trying to maneuver my heavy and unbalanced body out of bed and then trying to straighten up with the stiff round ligaments in my abdomen and my achy back.

I just touched above on the problems with round ligaments during pregnancy. They have been particularly annoying over the past few weeks. They get very tight and sore, especially when I go for long walks or sit for too long. I feel elderly, as I try to straighten up from sitting or get up from lying in bed, just because my round ligaments are so stiff that I have to slowly straighten up and consequently straighten them to avoid painful spasms (round ligaments support the uterus in the abdominal area and when a woman is pregnant they become much more stretched than usual, which can lead to pain and spasms).

On the other side, my back has been bothering me on and off. Partly I think it’s just the increased weight and the counterbalance which is now on my stomach, the fetus, but the other part I'm guessing has to do with when the fetus is in a particularly uncomfortable position and perhaps poking an appendage into my spine- this seems to cause spasms in my low back/hip area.

My hips are definitely feeling less stable and more stretched out (and not in a good way) and I find myself walking slowly and hobbling when I first get up from sitting or from bed.

Even last week, I was taking my 7 km walks, but this seems to be getting a bit much, as it takes me a couple of days to recover now (stiff round ligaments, back, and hips) and the maternity doctor thinks that perhaps shorter walks and more time with my feet up is what I should be doing now.

In general, I feel awkward (not that I’m normally a graceful swan). I have noticed an increase in spontaneously losing my balance when I’m just standing around, dropping things, running into things (still trying to get used to this new bigger form), my walking pace is slower and more laboured, going from sitting to standing takes longer and is even less graceful, getting out of bed makes me feel like a beetle stuck on its back, and I’m getting tired more easily.

I feel like I'm moving as slowly as this fuzzy caterpillar.

This week I have suddenly experienced some abdominal cramping (but no bleeding) and it comes and goes at random. From my reading, this appears to be Braxton Hicks contractions (which are false labour pains and frequently occur in the third trimester as a way for the body to prepare the uterus for real labour). I have not been enjoying them (although I doubt that anyone does). They feel like menstrual cramps to me (although they don’t bother some women). I’ve put a heating pad on intermittently over my abdomen and back to relax and soothe the area and have taken Tylenol, but really there’s not much one can do.

Now a note on my current mental state. On the babymoon, I experienced some anxiety and panic attacks, but this was mostly due to the stress of travel (particularly that awful, awful, awful Air France flight on the way back, not that the one on the way there was great either), and the hotness and humidity of the air, which made my shortness of breath go from just annoying to panic attack level (cooling down in the ocean, snorkeling, seemed to cure this every day though). My mood on the babymoon generally improved as I was able to be around my husband all the time and felt reassured by his presence (he had to be away for most of the first almost six months of the pregnancy due to work).

A benefit of having my husband around at home is occasional treats like these Easter blueberry pancakes that he made for me.

Upon returning home from the babymoon though, the unexpected sickness of our almost 16 year old cat and having to say goodbye to him the day after we arrived home was devastating. I spent at least the first week in bed for almost all day and all night. It’s been hard to be in this place where we live now, looking at all the places where I used to see him sleeping, not having him steal my place on the couch, not having him keep me company in bed sleeping in in the morning, not having him keep us company all the time, and the almost unbearable silence. This place is empty without him. I have never lived without at least one cat since I was six years old. This has been utterly shattering and the stress of this on top of the pregnancy has pushed me to my limit. However, I’m dealing with this better now than I would have earlier in the year when I was going through a mixed episode of my bipolar disorder and part of my improved coping ability is because my lithium levels are at a good level again (and part of it is normal seasonal fluctuation of mood for me).

How do you say goodbye to your cat of 16 years?

Now on to the medical appointments. When I returned from the babymoon, I was 28.5 weeks pregnant. This made it the perfect time to go to the lab to have my gestational diabetes screen done. This blood test is done from 28 weeks onwards usually. My blood sugars were found to be in the normal range, so I don’t have gestational diabetes. They also tested my blood for things like my iron level. This is still on the low side, but in a normal range thanks to taking ferrous fumerate supplements since the second trimester. I am to continue taking these iron supplements even for a while after giving birth to ensure my body has adequate iron.

My maternity doctor has done two check ups on me since I’ve returned (from 28 weeks onwards the appointments go from once a month to once every two weeks). He says that my blood pressure is still perfect, my fundal height measurement is still in the normal range, the fetal heartbeat sounds normal, and he has no concerns at all about my pregnancy. After the struggle my husband and I had to get pregnant, it has been almost eerie hearing from the maternity doctor each appointment that he has no concerns at all about the fetus or my pregnancy. It feels almost too good to be true, but we’ll take it.

What is with the lighting in medical office buildings? And the wall colours?

When I returned from the babymoon, I also had my thyroid levels tested again at the lab. They were found to be at good levels (thanks to my endocrinologist increasing my dose of levothyroxine just before I left for the babymoon, in anticipation of my body and the growing fetus requiring more) and therefore my doses of levothyroxine and liothyronine remained the same. He was particularly pleased that I only gained two pounds in the five weeks since I had seen him (my maternity doctor is much less concerned with me gaining some weight in the pregnancy). My levothyroxine dose is at about double what it was before I was pregnant. Levothyroxine dose requirements tend to skyrocket during pregnancy for a few reasons, increasing blood volume and fluid in the pregnant woman, increased weight of the pregnant woman, and the fetus’ demands increasing the metabolism of the pregnant woman dramatically. As I have explained in previous posts, poor thyroid levels in pregnancy can lead to tragic consequences including miscarriage and a lower IQ in the fetus.

I will be following up with my endocrinologist again next week (four weeks after my last appointment), after I go to the lab to have my thyroid levels checked again. My endocrinologist told me that the levothyroxine levels will have to be decreased overnight as soon as I give birth (this is because as I mentioned above, my dose is way higher now than it was before and if I stayed on that dose after birth I would go from euthyroid or normal thyroid levels to hyperthyroid, which has its own share of nightmare symptoms). My endocrinologist shared some parting advice with me at the end of the last appointment. He told me to have small frequent meals to control my blood sugar (and avoid dramatic spikes), so that the fetus would not grow at too fast of a rate- he said that I would appreciate this during childbirth. Duly noted and given that my internal organ space is being monopolized more and more by the thing, I can’t really eat big meals anymore anyways, so small, more frequent meals seem to be the way to go.

Beautiful blue flowers in spring.

I had my lithium levels tested the week after I returned from the babymoon and then went to my perinatal psychiatrist for an appointment. My lithium level was perfect, I was feeling better than I had earlier in the winter/spring, and she had no concerns. She says that unless my levels get out of wack before the delivery (I will continue having monthly blood tests of my lithium level, which I can then monitor online) or I feel unstable, she doesn’t have to see me until after I give birth (she will maintain me as a patient for at least some months after the birth until I am discharged again into the care of my regular psychiatrist).

The perinatal psychiatrist informed me that when I go into labour, I will stop taking my lithium carbonate that day and will not take it the day after (I’m on a higher dose now than I was before I became pregnant and when the body rapidly loses a bunch of fluid in childbirth, taking the same dose of lithium after the birth can lead to lithium toxicity). Two days after the birth, the hospital will take my lithium level and the supervising psychiatrist will then start me on an appropriate lower dose of lithium carbonate. I will then likely be discharged from the hospital (they sometimes keep women after childbirth who have a perinatal psychiatrist for up to ten days if they’re not doing well, but this is uncommon and most people are out in a couple of days, which I guess is much longer than women who don’t have a psychiatrist who are pretty much kicked out of the hospital right after the birth).

My perinatal psychiatrist warned me again to maintain my boundaries against people who cause me a great deal of stress and distress and could impact my mood and mental state and could thereby contribute to a destabilization in my condition which is currently stable. Unfortunately, most of these people are related to me, so it creates a very awkward situation for me (at a time when I should be able to turn to my family, I must turn away for my own health). She told me that if people are not willing to change and be kind a respectful towards me and stable enough to depend on, not only would it not be good for me, but that now I would have a baby to think of and I can’t risk exposing it to people who are haphazardly in and out of my life, intermittently drunk and/or abusive, and who refuse to apologize for past wrongs or to make any effort to get help for their various problems and conditions. I know I've had my share of problems in the past, but I have put an incredible amount of work into seeking help, working on myself, and righting past wrongs. I wish that others would or perhaps could do the same.

I will be seeing my maternity doctor again next week. The MOA at Dr. Down’s office told me that the only test that’s really left for me to do is a "strep screening" (for Group B Streptococcus bacteria that can pose a risk to babies and can be passed to them from an infected mother during childbirth) at 35-36 weeks. Depending on the outcome of that test, antibiotics may be required. In anticipation of this, my naturopath placed me on a particular strain of probiotics that will hopefully prevent me from needing antibiotics. Who knows if this is likely to help or work, but I don’t really enjoy taking antibiotics, so I’ll try anything.

My mood can't help but lift when I photograph and haiku about the delights of spring.

There is no doubt that pregnancy and babies are a big industry and there is an astounding amount of “stuff” available. I’m still wearing the same non-pregnancy bigger clothes that I bought in my second trimester plus some pre-pregnancy dresses and tops that I wore earlier in the pregnancy. The only maternity item I bought was a shirt from Old Navy and personally I don’t think it’s that great. I would definitely continue to populate my wardrobe in my next pregnancy (if I’m lucky enough to get a second pregnancy) with non-maternity clothes in bigger sizes. Maternity clothes seem to be really expensive and really not that great (plus a lot of places seem to use artificial fabrics and I’m not going to wear those no matter how desperate I am). Yes, I don’t have a lot of selection of clothing, but who cares? It’s not like I’m going to look at my most glamorous at this point anyways, as I hobble around with my sore back and ligaments, groaning, and wondering what I’ll have for my next snack or why I have to go pee again. Regarding shoes, so far I’ve been able to keep wearing my sandals, runners, and mukluks and I haven’t needed anything more than that, so other than the reef shoes that I had to buy before the babymoon (my existing ones were too tight) and the flip flops I had to buy on the babymoon when my feet were really, really swollen from flying and the heat and humidity, I haven’t needed to buy new shoes (but I have noticed my more form fitting shoes are tighter due to both some swelling and the ligaments relaxing in the feet- who knows if my feet will go back to normal after the pregnancy or not- some women actually change shoe sizes). Oh, and by the way, with less than two months to go now, I’m still able to wear my engagement and wedding rings, but I do notice my fingers are definitely swollen- who knows if I’ll have to take them off before the pregnancy ends (a lot of women do).

Continuing on the topic of "stuff," once you’re done with the pregnancy, there’s a whole host of baby stuff that various sources say that you can’t live without. Unfortunately, every list is different. Even the most “bare bones” lists seem to include things that seem unnecessary to me. But who am I to judge? I’ve never had a baby before, so how would I know what I need. Hopefully the prenatal classes that my husband and I start next weekend will make it clearer what we must have. I don’t want a place crammed full of unnecessary stuff, but on the other hand I don’t want to be without what I actually need (especially because I don’t see myself being out and about shopping for a while after the birth). My mother-in-law gave my husband and I a concerned look when we showed her what we had so far for the baby when she was in town last week- a free bottle that we got from a maternity store (that I never bought anything from), a stuffed turtle that Le Meridien in Bora Bora gave to us, and that was it. While my mother-in-law was here, a box arrived from Indigo- my husband and I had finally spent our gift cards from a couple of Christmases ago and we bought a onesie (but it’s in a 6-month size, so not useful for a while), a three pack of bibs (who knows if you need those only when they start eating food or from the beginning, I don’t know), and some washcloths. So, yeah, we don’t really have anything at this point, but given that we’re moving (see below), what’s the point in loading up now, and having to move stuff, and not having anywhere to put it in the mean time?

Moving is always a nightmare, but I’d say it’s even more of nightmare when you’re 7-8 months pregnant. My ability to lift has been drastically curtailed, my stamina for cleaning is less (plus certain cleaners are not recommended and you can’t paint), and I feel even more anxious than I normally would about having things unpacked and ready in short order, because I’m due on June 23rd and who knows when the baby will actually show up. We’ve been looking for a place to move to forever, but had no luck due to market conditions (Victoria has an even lower rental vacancy rate than Vancouver now, 0.5% vs. 0.7%, oh and Toronto is 1.2% by the way, but since it’s the centre of the universe, people there are having even more dramatic struggles than us) that have led to not just a lack of inventory, but also skyrocketing prices. Anything that did look affordable (almost nothing because we were looking for a house) was either shocking or in a terrifying neighbourhood/ way out of town, or both. We wanted to rent a house (because buying a house in Victoria is not affordable or a good investment in our eyes, the average price in the core is $950,000, yet the average household income is $88,000- how does that work?!), but rental prices have gone up so much and there are practically no houses available for rent (they’re all being sold on the hot market where everyone in Victoria now looks at their house’s BC Assessment figure and thinks that they’re a millionaire because on paper they very well might be now so they must cash in- but I digress).

All of a sudden, out of the blue, my cousin who had just moved, kindly offered to rent me his house, as he had taken it off the market and had decided to hold it instead. The house is close to where we live now, in a safe and quiet neighbourhood, and has the space that we need now that it’s not just going to be just my husband and I. The house also had some maintenance issues though and the deal was that we would fix them up ourselves. So, we called the people that we knew that we could rely upon to help us in our time of need (and panic), my husband’s parents. They gladly dropped everything and came down the next week and spent a week here helping up to fix up problems in the house and clean it up. They’re coming back next week for another week to help again. Then we’ll be able to actually move into the place in mid May or so, barely more than a month ahead of my due date. It will be tight, but I’m just so relieved to be moving, and so grateful that my cousin is renting us his place, and that my parents-in-law are helping us and reassuring us that the place will be suitable and in good condition for us to bring our first child home to. I still can’t believe how lucky I am to have my parents-in-law. It’s true that you don’t get to choose family, but at least you can choose a partner who has the family that you wish that you had always had and they can be there for you in a way you never thought that a family would be or could be.

25 weeks pregnant. This was just before we left for the babymoon.

The difference in my stomach at 31 weeks was very noticeable.

32 weeks pregnant, less than two months to go (unless it's late).