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| Current mood . . . |
Before my husband took off to go back east for work, we celebrated St. Valentine's Day early by going out for dinner. We went to our favourite Japanese restaurant in town, Sen Zushi. He also brought me home two beautiful bouquets since he wouldn't be here for the actual day.
We also discussed further one last vacation before we become parents or a "babymoon" as some people term it. We debated at length again various locales, the pros and cons of each, and finally decided we were going to go back to where we had our honeymoon, French Polynesia (but we're going to try some new islands on this trip as well as going back to a couple of the ones we visited before). We've always wanted to return to French Polynesia, it cast quite the spell on us, so it seemed fitting to have our one last hurrah before children there. A honeymoon and nine years later a babymoon in paradise. I researched extensively diseases and dangers and concluded that if we weren't idiots, it would be safe for a babymoon. Plus as a French Colony, part of the EU, and the recipient of lots of money from France, they have a higher standard of living that many tropical islands and a good medical system (they've been Zika free for 2 years, too). Yes, the main flight will be a bit long (8.5 hours from LA to Tahiti), but the prospect of spending three and a half weeks in the place we consider the most beautiful place in the world was too tantalizing. Plus we'll pace ourselves accordingly this time. Less tours, less long walks, and more relaxing. To read more about the vacation
visit our travel blog, Two Restless Wanderers.
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| We've been waiting nine years to get back to French Polynesia. |
I saw my perinatal psychiatrist on St. Valentine's Day. She was the only person I saw that day as my husband was back east for work. When she asked me how I had been feeling the past month and if things with my family were better, I burst into tears. I hadn't expected to cry in the appointment, but I just couldn't help it. I was overwhelmed by melancholy. I told her about my frequent panic attacks, high anxiety, and low moods and how I had tried two different courses of Loxapine to remedy my mixed state. She decided that I need to get out of the house more and not just for medical appointments. No matter how frightened I feel at being outside, she told me I should walk every day, even if it is only the two blocks down to the ocean and back to my place (in my panic attack group that I used to attend shortly after my diagnosis with bipolar disorder, we call facing a fear when you are anxious an "exposure" and this method is really quite effective for panic disorder). She said that I need to get out of my head more, as well as my house. She also said I'm far too isolated. My medication was left the same as my lithium level was good in the last lab test. I will retest my lithium level once more before I go on vacation and if the level is off or I'm feeling awful, I'll see her. If not then I'll see her when I return.
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| At VGH hospital for a visit to my perinatal psychiatrist. |
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| My valentine was less than enthused. |
One of the parts of pregnancy that a lot of people don't talk about, though many experience it, is problems with veins. This could be varicose veins, spider veins, or hemorrhoids. The latter two have flared up in me now. The spider veins are benign, but the hemorrhoids are really a pain in the . . .. I finally went to see my maternity doctor again this week as my soaks in the tub and witch hazel were not working. He prescribed a cortisone ointment with analgesic and antibiotics (mine is called Proctol). I didn't want to just start something like this without his advice, as the sources I've read say that one ought to weigh the benefit with the risk when pregnant. He says it's fine to use this ointment though and that this is a very, very common problem in pregnancy due to the increased blood flow, pressure, and weight, as well as constipation that many women experience. I have not been enjoying the experience, but I just remind myself that I'm lucky to be pregnant and I count it as a blessing every day after all the years we tried to get pregnant, the miscarriage, and having had to undergo IVF.
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| At the doctor's office. |
The other part of my visit to Dr. Down was asking if it was alright for me to go on a vacation in the next few weeks. He has no concerns about my pregnancy, but warned that sometimes babies even come as early as 24 weeks and if they do they need hospital facilities as they are viable at this point (some survive, some don't). It's highly unlikely, but one should consider the possibility. He queried whether French Polynesia had adequate hospitals and if our travel insurance would cover the infant's medical bills as well as my own if I should labour early. Naturally, travel insurance is a very important thing to have when you travel and knowing the particulars of the policy is crucial. I used to practise in the area of insurance litigation, so I'm hyper aware of this issue (whether or not an insurance company will actually pay rightful claims is another matter altogether- we're still waiting for a response back to our latest letter to our insurer over the prescription drug costs from IVF that they refused to pay.) Each policy is different, so it's important to understand exactly what your policy covers.
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| Our cat will not be happy that we're going away, but I'm sure that with enough tuna he'll forgive us. |
I was at the chiropractor today for another adjustment. He says that my back and neck are starting to settle down, but I'm still quite tense in the mid to upper back (this would explain the spasms in my right trapezius sometimes). I'll be back in about three weeks, just before I leave for my vacation for another adjustment.
I'm 22 weeks pregnant today. I must say that it's getting harder to deny that I'm pregnant when I look in the mirror. In less baggy clothes, my stomach is starting to become more and more obvious. I'm still monstrously uncomfortable in bed at night and not sleeping well. My stupid maternity pillow finally arrived from the crook I bought it from on eBay. It was almost three weeks in coming from the U.S. to here in Canada. It was vacuum sealed and arrived flat as a pancake. Having read online that people put maternity pillows into the dryer for a few minutes on low to fluff them up when they arrive by mail and having no instructions to the contrary with the pillow or on the pillow's tag, I took of the zippered cover to wash it and put the pillow itself in the dryer. When I pulled it out a few minutes later, it was oozing fluff from several different areas as the cheap plasticy papery mesh covering had disintegrated. I struggled alone to stuff it into its zippered case and slept with this obese lumpy corpse alone that night. It was hideously uncomfortable and not at all as described ("This Total Body Pillow delivers the ultimate comfort and a restful sleep. Embrace your entire body in complete relaxation. This body pillow is an exceptionally comfortable addition to your bedroom, living room, college dorm. This pillow can provide relief from the discomforts of pregnancy and is perfect for side sleepers.") When I contacted the seller about this defective piece of junk, they wouldn't respond. The second time, they blamed it on the dryer and said I shouldn't have even used one. I have not heard from them since then. So, I guess the moral of the story is that sleeping when you're pregnant is hideously uncomfortable and nothing will help this problem and that there are many people waiting to profit from your misery and desperation for a good night's sleep. It seems in maternity there are countless people lined up and waiting to rip you off.
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| Yeah every pillow's supposed to look like this the first time you use it. What a rip off. |
Since I saw the psychiatrist, I have been going for a walk every day. It has been scary getting outside, but when I'm actually out there, I've been enjoying watching spring progress into Victoria, even on the days when the weather is not so great. Since only a few of my wool coats fit and they're all too heavy for walking and my raincoat doesn't fit across the chest anymore, I've been layering a couple of old Addidas sweaters over my workout leggings and top. This is an economical solution, as I don't want to buy a coat just for the couple of months when I might need it in winter/spring in Victoria while pregnant.
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| Pictures from my various walks this week. |
I'm still not really feeling any movements from the thing. The doctor doesn't seem particularly concerned. He says people feel it at different times ("quickening" as they call the first movements). I haven't been feeling any of the weird feelings like I was last week, so I don't know what's going on. But I guess I'll know when I know that it is actually the fetus moving and not just indigestion. In the mean time, since I have no indication that anything is wrong, I will continue to take this pregnancy one day at a time.
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| 22 weeks pregnant. |
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