35 Weeks Pregnant: How Did the Time Just Disappear, Another Visit to the Maternity Doctor, Nesting, and the Alien World of Baby Accoutrement

Last weekend, was filled with pregnancy related stuff, we did our last all day prenatal class on Saturday at the Mothering Touch, where we did more on labour, how to swaddle a baby, breastfeeding, and what the first two weeks postpartum might be like.

I'm sure that swaddling a moving baby is even worse than a doll . . .

A lovely lunch at Sen Zushi in the break for lunch during class was just what we needed.

After that class, we went to Toys ‘R Us to look at baby related stuff including strollers, bottles, car seats, etc. A lovely employee took pity on us when she saw us sitting on a shelf in the stroller section looking beleaguered and demoralized. She showed us some of the main stroller system models (ie. It has a car seat included) and how to collapse the strollers and take out the car seats (this is like some sort of magic- it’s going to take some practice to get used to a lot of this). She gave us so many helpful pointers for what we could look for in choosing a stroller system. She was so wonderful that we left the store feeling empowered and much less hopeless. We then went to Shoppers Drug Mart to pick up some diapers, baby wipes, bath stuff to bath the baby in, and some diaper rash cream. So, bit by bit we are getting ready.

Sunday was Mother’s Day and this time it felt somewhat less depressing as my husband and I had something to actually celebrate, we almost have a child in the flesh. It’s visible, the kicks can be seen through my belly and felt strongly by both of us, we’re almost at our due date, and should it be born premature it actually has a good chance of surviving.

My husband made me lovely blueberry pancakes on Mother's Day.

As of yesterday, I was 35 weeks pregnant, which means 5 weeks until my due date (neither of us can believe we’re down to five weeks less a day until the due date now- where did the time go?). Naturally, since only about 2% of babies show up on their due date, a due date is really just arbitrary and usually doesn’t mean much (unless you’re entirely punctual like I was and show up on your exact due date), but it gives the mother something to shoot for (in five weeks my bladder may not have the capacity of a squirrel’s bladder, I may not be getting up every hour to go pee at night, walking even short distances may not be an exhausting and painful production, I will have full lung capacity again). But it also raises terror within me. I’ve never done this before and the prospect of going into something without qualifications or education (excluding our two day long prenatal classes plus hospital tour) or a degree makes me feel more than a little uneasy. However, I suppose if millions of other people have managed it, maybe I can too. I just don’t want to destroy my child’s life. My fears are much more existential than focussed towards the labour itself (I’ve had so many major surgeries by this point that I can deal with the thought of physical pain, it’s uncertainty and psychological peril that bothers me).

35 weeks pregnant.

Now that I’ve hit 5 weeks from my due date, I feel especially driven to make sure that we have everything that we might need for the first little bit when the thing arrives. The prenatal classes gave some helpful suggestions of bare-bones essentials for a new baby and my husband and I have been working through the list. Unfortunately, the baby accoutrement industry is big business, which means that there are millions of options. Spoiler alert- they all cost way more than what you would thing tiny things that are basically disposable like everything else in our society would cost. We have had to spend quite a bit of time researching various items like strollers/car seat systems, formula and formula makers or bottle warmers (I’m only allowed to breastfeed for two weeks then I must switch to formula due to my medication), baby monitors, baby carriers, etc..

Then there’s the fact that we just moved. I’ve been working at a frantic and frenetic pace that has scared my husband more than a little, but I just feel driven to have things more or less unpacked and organized before the thing arrives and our lives become too chaotic and exhausting to be able to do much other than care for it and ourselves. I was unpacking a box of my old stuffed animals the other day and I came upon a few things that I started squirreling away for a future baby years ago when we were first starting to try to get pregnant. It had been so long since I had bought them that I had forgotten about them. I almost burst into tears when I thought about how hopeful we had been back then and how over time we had gradually become demoralized to the point where we could not even look at anything to do with children or babies, let alone buy anything (we didn’t really buy anything for the baby until a couple of weeks ago because we were so afraid that we would have another miscarriage).

My husband has been so busy with work that he hasn’t had much time to help in this quest to provision a nursery/baby, but he did come with me last night to pick up the stroller/car seat system that we ordered online from Canadian Tire, but had to pick up at the nearest store (we originally tried it out in person at Toys ‘R Us and liked it because it was smooth, good for rough trails like in parks and sidewalks without ramps, and its handle was high so perfect for two tall people like us). Lucky he did come with me too, the box was gigantic and heavy. All I can say is that these babies seem to come with a lot of baggage. But at least now that we have a car seat, we could actually have a baby at this point and get it back from the hospital. Trying to work the stroller and car seat last night after my husband put it together made me feel like an idiot and after a long day of cleaning the old place, organizing this place, more housework, errands, and shopping for baby clothes at the Salvation Army (and I finally used up that coupon they gave me for donating stuff last year- how thrifty) I felt so exhausted and demoralized that I just gave up and left the room. I guess it will just take practise.

Since I can't fit as much in my stomach anymore, yet get ravenous more often, small frequent meals seems to be the key. The thing was kicking like crazy when I was shopping at the Salvation Army, so I stopped to have a bowl of soup after.

This week I only had two pregnancy related appointments, massage therapy and the maternity doctor. The maternity doctor entailed giving a urine sample as usual, getting weighed, having my blood pressure done, having my fundal height measurement taken, and listening to the fetal heartbeat. The doctor still has no concerns. He palpated my abdomen (Ahhh! Bladder!!!!) to try to determine the position of the fetus, but was unable to tell without “significant further discomfort” he said. He agrees that it looks like it’s hanging out really high in my abdominal cavity, by my ribs (is that why I can’t breathe and keep having panic attacks?!), but he can’t tell if it’s head down or in breech. He told me that the fundal height measurement is on the large normal to perhaps just slightly over normal measurement, but nothing to be alarmed about, especially given the high position of the fetus. He said that next appointment, in two weeks, I will get the swab for Strep B, an examination of my cervix (oh goody), and at that point he will try again to determine the position of the fetus. If this is not possible or the fundal height measurement seems too big or anything else seems off, he will just send me for an ultrasound.  He gave the number for the answering service that I will call when I go into labour (apparently this often happens outside of office hours- inconsiderate babies!). He also discussed with me the different types of formula that exist on the market, which I really appreciated because I had no idea where to even start when looking for one.

At the maternity doctor's office.

Massage therapy I went to after a particularly gruelling day of cleaning the old place. My pelvis, low back, thighs, hips, and round ligaments are all really sore every day now, but after days of a lot of activity like cleaning, moving, unpacking, I hobble like an aged person. Getting out of bed is becoming more of a challenge, not just because of the nest of pillows and increasing bulk on my abdomen (the baby is apparently putting about one pound a week on by itself at this stage), but also because unfurling myself from the fetal position on either side which they advise you to sleep in when pregnant and then trying to go to an upright position, stretched out, is agonizing on all the overstretched ligaments, expanding skeleton, and overtaxed muscles. My massage therapist thought that my concern about not finding any stretches that really worked for me for stretching out my round ligaments might actually be overblown. She thought that stretching out overstretched ligaments might actually be bad and I should just follow the advice of my maternity doctor and put my feet up more and do less (easier said than done when you’re nesting and you only have just over a month left until your due date and need to create a functional nursery still). It did feel good having an hour long massage (albeit it was painful in various spots in particular like my low back and hips), but getting up after an hour and having to unfurl to a fully upright position with a very full bladder was very painful. Pregnancy is a lot more extreme than I thought that it would be, but I remind myself every day that I am so fortunate to get to experience this, let alone for this long, given that I couldn’t get pregnant for years, suffered a miscarriage, and had to have IVF to establish this pregnancy.

We spent today cleaning the old place (and then we went to Walmart to shop for more baby things- I could barely walk by the end and I’m absolutely exhausted now) and after our inspection with the two landladies we’ll be rid of it and I will then only have one address to manage. I can’t wait to have less gruelling cleaning/moving to do. A word to the wise, moving about a month before your due date is highly challenging and not pleasant. I would not recommend it.

Let this moving nightmare end. I'm sick of cleaning.