38 Weeks Pregnant: Nesting Instinct, Appointments, My First Ultrasound in 16 Weeks, Non-Stress Test, and the End of an Era

I'm in full on nesting mode around here.

The week has been a blur as I've continued to feel driven to get things done, prepare for the baby's arrival, organize the house, stock up on food and household supplies, and finish packing the hospital bag, a bag for the baby, and food to take (I've been told the rations for mothers are meager and they don't even feed the fathers).

Stock up on tea, stock up on groceries, prepare for the siege.

My husband looked on in confusion at my flurry of activity and told me that I should rest. Well, read on and you'll find out that maybe my body just knew.

Pancake Sunday again. I'm being spoiled by my husband.

I had family over for tea a couple of times, I went for a massage, I went to acupuncture, I had my teeth cleaned at the dentist, I had a chiropractic adjustment, and I stocked up on stuff. My sister gave me a bunch of stuff for the baby from her place and found a crib and a change table for me online, which helped to calm my worries that we did not have what we needed. And I generally freaked out trying to picture what each room, time of day, and activity would be like with something as foreign to me as a baby around. While I had done and acquired basically everything I thought that I needed, my task list kept growing even as I checked things off.

My bed at home has a complicated configuration of pillows, well so does the acupuncture bed.

At acupuncture with the skinless man on the wall.

Waiting for my appointment with Dr. Down.

On Thursday, I was scheduled for an ultrasound and non-stress test at Victoria General Hospital. I was nervous, picturing each worst case scenario, including the fetus being in a breech position, the fetus being in distress, there being something wrong with me, and the day ending with an emergency C-section or induction and me becoming a parent in an expedited fashion.

The weather has been gorgeous in Victoria.

The ultrasound happened first. The fetus is head down. That is a relief because they apparently can't change position at this late stage, so it's stuck there.

The technician pointed to the ultrasound image of the fetus' head with eye sockets staring straight up, its spine to mine (this was the only pictures the technician could really get because of the position of the fetus and you can't take your own pictures there, so I have none). They call this head up position of a fetus the "stargazer."

The two black dots in the middle are the eye sockets, gazing upwards in the :"stargazer" position.

 The name of the position reminds me of that Oscar Wilde quote:

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” ― Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan.

After the ultrasound, it was back to the waiting room to await the non-stress test.

Waiting for my non-stress test at the hospital.

The non-stress test consisted of lying on a bed, propped up for 20 minutes with two different monitors pressed to my belly with elastic straps holding them on. I was given a button to press if I felt fetal movement. I also had an arm band for blood pressure monitoring on. My blood pressure was taken twice from my right arm and found to be on the high side, very strange for me (I usually have low blood pressure. My feet were really swollen that day too. When my blood pressure was taken from the left arm, it was much lower. My pulse was around 60 and the technician asked if I was "one of those yoga people." Nope.

The fetus had several rapid accelerations in heart rate during the monitoring, which is what they want to see. I kept having contractions as I had while getting the ultrasound and the technician could see these in the monitoring strip. She said that the ultrasound was normal. The only thing slightly off was that there was a bit of a high amount of amniotic fluid. This can vary every 24 hours though. The technician said that if my membranes were to rupture at home, I should immediately lie down on my left side and get to the hospital ASAP to reduce the risk of the fetus moving into a bad position in the excess amniotic fluid (such as sticking an arm over its head or getting the cord above its head. She said that they would dip my urine sample, consult with the obstetrician, and call my maternity doctor, Dr. Down, to see what he wants me to do next. Then they would come find us in the waiting room to tell us when my follow up appointment might be, either with an obstetrician or for another non-stress test or both or maybe neither since we were getting so close to the end (38 weeks the next day).

We sat in the waiting room again. We were an hour and a half past the appointment start time by this point. We weren't expecting to be at the hospital so long, but we were also glad it didn't seem that there was an immediate risk of us being held there and me induced. We want the rest of the pregnancy to prepare!

Past noon, about two hours after we arrived, we were told to go get more parking because we'd be there about 1-1.5 hours because I'd be seeing an obstetrician and having a consultation with an anesthesiologist (I have severe psuedocholinesterase deficiency so my maternity doctor requested that I have a consult in case any interventions are required).

We bolted a quick Tim Horton's lunch after we bought more parking and returned to the ward as the technician called me on the phone wondering where I was- gee I wasn’t expecting to spend hours at the hospital in a ward where I can’t eat or drink anything.

We were immediately shown into an exam room. The obstetrician joined us. She said there was only slightly elevated amniotic fluid, but with my blood pressure going elevated there were concerns about waiting for my due date. She said that the fetus is measuring at 7 pounds 6 ounces right now. All a fetus does from weeks 38 onward is put on fat, but they're fully functional by that point. She performed a pelvic exam (a particularly unenjoyable experience when you're already having contractions) and said that my cervix is 3 cm dilated already and the head of the fetus is engaged in the pelvis. She opined that since I'm 38 weeks pregnant the next day, the benefits to waiting were outweighed by the potential risks such as the fetus changing position when my membranes rupture to preeclampsia in me with associated risks like seizure, placental abruption, and potentially death. She said I could wait and see and it might be fine, but I was in a perfect position to be induced now and have the baby this weekend. Either way I should be rechecked  with another non-stress test on Sunday or Monday if I have not been induced yet. I asked her what she'd do if she were me. She is after all the expert. She said she'd be induced.  So that's what we're going to be doing. Well, that is if it doesn't happen naturally before then- the obstetrician did say this was a distinct possibility.

Next we waited for the anesthesiologist. Usually the muscle relaxants that I can't process aren't used anymore in surgery and anesthesia, but it's better that everyone is crystal clear about what I can't have (when I was given one of them during a surgery before my deficiency was known, I was out and unable to breathe on my own for about 12 hours instead of 2, thanks to ventilators though people like me won't die if this happens, but it's pretty scary for everyone that's awake and not particularly good to do).

We were still waiting a couple of hours later and asked a nurse if the anaesthesiologist would be seeing us that afternoon or not. We didn't want to be rude, we know they're very busy, but my feet were continuing to swell and we were both thirsty, hungry, tired, and stressed. She went to page him again. I was brought a ration of a slice of cheese and a tiny packet of digestive biscuits with a cup of apple juice. I really don’t know how they expect a pregnant woman or anyone for that matter to withstand almost six hours without anything to eat or drink. It seems unreasonable. I was grateful that we had had that five minute lunch earlier or I would have been in full on apex predator mode, roaming the ward in search of prey.

The anesthesiologist appeared about 20-30 minutes later and reviewed what might happen if induction happened and I needed pain relief, including the pros and cons of narcotics versus an epidural and what was required if a C-section were to occur. We of course reviewed my pseudocholinesterase deficiency and he said that it was a very good thing for him to know because some drugs that cause me problems are used in C-sections (they usually aren’t used in normal anesthesia anymore). He said that he didn’t need any blood work and that we could leave and the hospital would call us when we were on the list for induction.

My husband and I left the hospital about six hours after we had arrived there and went home in a full on state of shock and panic. There’s nothing like finding out that a major deadline has just been moved up by two weeks or more and there’s nothing that you can do about it. I continued to have cramps and feel nauseous and kind of dizzy.

We decided to go out for dinner at Sen Zushi for one last hurrah. I continued to feel signs of early labour as I devoured the delicious Japanese meal. We returned home and went to bed feeling uncertain about whether I would beat the hospital and go into active labour that night. In any event our hospital bags, food, and the car seat were all in the car and ready to go.

Out to dinner at Sen Zushi. We need to stock up, because we won't be going out for a while . . .

I was very uncomfortable last night, having to go to the washroom every hour, being very thirsty, having cramps, and nausea. In the morning, I didn’t feel as crampy- well that was until I got up and about, then it hit again and it felt worse than the day before. I feel gastric distress, headaches, and dizziness. I’ve still been able to carry on with tidying the house, errands, and generally fretting though, so I guess I’m not in active labour yet.

Dr. Down, my maternity doctor, called me personally today to go over me being on the induction list, what happens if I get bumped, the follow up non-stress test if I am bumped, and what happens if I go into active labour before induction. I appreciate his excellent care, kind manner, and vast knowledge.

My husband and I just keep wondering whether my body will do it itself or whether I’ll be on a Pitocin (artificial oxytocin) IV drip this weekend and having my water broken being induced into labour or whether we’ll be bumped from the list and will not have the induction happen until next week. In any event, it looks like our pregnancy journey is ending and our journey as new parents is about to begin.

38 weeks pregnant.

37 Weeks Pregnant: Acupuncture, Massage Therapy, Maternity Doctor, Lab Tests, and Reaching Full Term

We're enjoying the sunsets at our new place.

Today, I reached 37 weeks pregnant. Of course, all pregnancy sources seem to contradict each other or vary at least slightly, but many seem to agree that once a woman reaches 37 weeks pregnant, the fetus is considered full term (but full term can range up to 42 weeks, after all not all babies have a day planner). I never thought I’d be fortunate enough to reach full term or anywhere near to full term or even get pregnant again after my miscarriage, and having to rely on IVF, so today is huge for my husband and me.

The spring produces such beautiful flowers like peonies.

Last weekend, my husband and I went looking for more “stuff” for the fetus. The mind-boggling array of baby carriers (and cribs, changing tables, strollers, car seats, etc.) on the market is enough to make a new parent’s head spin. And just when you think you’ve thought of everything, the salespeople will throw other suggestions at you. For instance, if you buy an orthodontic soother, then there’s the soother clip to think about . . ..

Baby carriers seem to have an astounding number of buckles and straps.

Monday, I had acupuncture. Lying on my side for the almost one hour of the appointment, with needles sticking out of my lower legs, arms, head, and back, proved to be uncomfortable as my back is getting more and more done with this whole strain and my ribs feel out because something is burrowing into them. At acupuncture at this point they have started to “prepare” my body for labour which involves targeting some specific points that relate to the uterus and cervix.

Tuesday, I went for massage therapy again. My hobbling walk seems to grow a little worse each week as my ligaments stiffen and my body protests a little more loudly at the added weight and off balance nature of my current form. Even rolling over on the massage table from one side to the other is more challenging now. My back, legs, and pelvis are all stiff and sore, but I’m just grateful that I’m pregnant and that the pregnancy so far is going well according to all of my doctors.

Wednesday, I saw my maternity doctor again. I will be seeing him weekly from now on. He says that my blood pressure is good. My fundal height measurement was normalish to slightly big, but he thinks that it’s because the baby has lodged itself into a very high position in my abdomen and is sticking out quite a ways. He said that it looks like the fetus is trying to stand up inside of me. No wonder I’m uncomfortable. The fetal heartbeat was normal. Then the fun stuff happened- not only did I have to have a Strep B swab done (this is done at 35-36 weeks pregnant to determine of the pregnant woman has Strep B and will need an antibiotic shot at the time of childbirth- results are still pending), but I also had to have an exam of my cervix to check that everything is as it should be. He also tried to determine the position of the fetus. He thought that it felt like it was head down, as it should be, but was somewhat disturbed by how high up the fetus seemed to be and how much it was sticking out and did not want to be wrong, therefore, he ordered an ultrasound and non-stress test to make sure that everything looks good and that the fetus is not in breech, that the amniotic fluid is at a good level, etc.. I will be going to this ultrasound next Thursday at the Victoria General Hospital. I have not had an ultrasound since 22 weeks, so it should be quite different this time around I would imagine.

I'm getting sick of giving urine samples (before every maternity doctor appointment).

Waiting for my examination with the maternity doctor.

Today, I had a big batch of blood tests for my thyroid, kidney function, and my lithium level. Everything looks fine. My next tests for these levels will be post birth (and my medications will be changed at that point to prevent toxicity from the lithium and going hyperthyroid with too much thyroid medication post birth).

Waiting for more blood tests.

I spent the rest of the week organizing the house, gardening, preparing hospital bags in case I go into labour early, meeting with a friend for tea, and for lunch with my father. My lovely mother-in-law sent us a box full of receiving blankets and burp cloths that she made of cozy flannelette and some with terry cloth with beautiful stitching, pretty colours, and patterns. She also found more light receiving blankets for us. My husband held up the burp cloths with bewilderment and intimated that he had had no idea what his mother and I had been speaking about on the phone the other day when we were talking about this box of cloth, but now he understood their purpose. It's going to be a steep learning curve for both of us. My husband and I have been chipping away at preparing a room for the thing, but it’s somewhat difficult when different items are showing up from various corners of the world (that we ordered online) and my husband’s work schedule is so demanding (and because we don’t know what we’re doing). It is slowly coming together though.

Other than the sore ligaments, muscles, and skeleton, I’ve been experiencing hiccups of a dyspeptic nature, nausea at times, thirst, fatigue, headaches, rib discomfort and breathlessness, and intermittent Braxton Hicks contractions. It seems that all of this is normal for this stage of pregnancy. The fetus is so strong at this point, I find some of its motions quite startling at times. My husband is amazed by its activities and how big it has become and says that he’s just ready to bring this to a close and meet it. I disagree! Not only would I rather the fetus come closer to its due date for its health reasons, but also, I’m not ready. I still have many lists of things to do, things to buy, and if I’m honest, I’m petrified about whether or not I’ll perform adequately as a parent. Plus, it’s easy for my husband to say that we should just get this show on the road, he doesn’t have to physically go through childbirth . . ..

37 weeks pregnant.

36 Weeks Pregnant- Long Weekend Fighting with Former Landladies, Shopping for Stuff for the Fetus, Chiropractor, Lunch with Friends, Massage Therapy, Packing a Hospital Bag, a Baby Shower, and Continuing to Unpack the House

Irises in the spring are always beautiful.

Today, I hit the 36 week mark in my pregnancy. I only have four weeks left until my due date. My terror has been switching from the pregnancy ending by miscarriage or stillbirth to me ruining this child’s life with bad parenting decisions. I know a lot of women at this stage are dreading labour and while I can’t say that I’m looking forward to it, I’ve had some horrific surgeries and there are pain killers available, so I’m sure I can survive it. My existential worries plague me more. Will my child be sitting here 37 years later mired in angst caused by my parenting choices? I hope not.

36 weeks pregnant.

Last weekend was a long weekend and should have been a lovely time for my husband and I to catch up on some rest and time together (our last long weekend before the due date), but instead we had to finish cleaning our former apartment before handing the keys back to our landladies. I had spent days cleaning leading up to the Saturday, so that we would not have to spend our whole weekend cleaning there. On Saturday, we cleaned for hours and hours and we thought the place looked much better than the state that we had received it in (our landladies complained repeatedly that the former aged tenant had not cleaned well enough- oh could that be because she was over 80?!). We asked the landladies to meet us the next day to inspect the place. The next day we went over and only one of them was there. She walked through and said how wonderful the place looked. Strangely, she had no condition inspection report from the Residential Tenancy Act documents that are required, but we thought that her friendly parting of wishing us well with the baby, saying what a good job we did, and her taking the keys from us and saying that she would send us the damage deposit and the last ten days of the month’s rent that she had said she would pay back for us leaving early was enough. Well, think again.

We spent the rest of the weekend entrenched in an acrimonious email chain as she kept coming back with more and more things that were wrong with the place, more and more that she wanted to deduct from our paltry damage deposit (we had already spent over $200 of our own money towards getting back our $625 damage deposit on cleaning the blinds in the place professionally because they required us to, even though the company couldn’t even clean some of them because they were so old they just needed to be replaced). Eventually we just offered that one hour of minimum wage be deducted from our damage deposit for them to hire someone to clean the oven further which is what they kept whining about the most (even though when we moved in the oven had a gap in the glass and it was never repaired or replaced the whole 4.5 years that we were there). They moaned about how it would cost at least double that to get the oven cleaned and we knew that (what?! We don’t know how much it costs to hire people to clean ovens, as we don’t have that luxury). We told them that if they wanted anything more they could go to an arbitration with us. This really pissed them off, but they backed off after some they made some more nasty comments towards us. The whole experience has been so stressful and negative, it almost makes me never want to rent again, but then I remember that the average property price on the market in our area of Victoria is $1.94 million and I think, oh yeah, I can’t buy (and this market is due for a major correction).
We did some more organizing in the new place and shopped at Walmart and managed to acquire a few more things for the fetus. My round ligaments and back were feeling so sore that I also looked for a pregnancy support belt (they are supposed to lift and support your growing stomach to help your back and hips and everything cope with the strain of the added weight and the unbalanced nature of the weight). Unfortunately, this proved to be difficult to find in Victoria and I ended up ordering one online from Amazon. It arrived yesterday and I’m still getting the hang of wearing this support belt that comes in three different pieces. It does feel like it holds things up and in more, but I can’t tell yet if it will actually help my pain and strain. Also, while they say that one could wear it under clothes, with all of the Velcro, I doubt that this would comfortable and unlike the listing, I think that people would definitely notice this bulk under your clothing. I’ve just been wearing it around the house over my clothing.

A side view of this pregnancy support brace.

I started having Braxton Hicks contractions again at the end of the weekend. This was particularly uncomfortable on Tuesday morning when I went to the chiropractor. My pelvis felt really separated and painful too (I’ve been hobbling around in pain especially when I get up from bed or the couch and I’m all stiff), I suppose because it’s preparing for the birth and as usual I’d done too much cleaning, organizing, and unpacking. My low back was also sore. Plus my neck was sore with pain and numbness radiating into my shoulders. Not that anyone wouldn’t have been tense after that weekend. After the TENS machine, heat, and an adjustment, I left. I’ll see him in a few weeks unless things worsen. Then I suppose I might not see my chiropractor again until after the birth.

The next day, I didn’t really feel the cramps from the Braxton-Hicks contractions and I went and had lunch downtown with friends. I also dropped by to see my husband at the office. And I went to Value Village to search for things for the fetus. Well, I totally overdid it, because the next day I was exhausted, sore, and felt very low. All I managed to do was go for massage therapy and do some cleaning and organizing around the house. At massage therapy my mid back and neck were feeling awful. My massage therapist says it’s probably not just tension, but also the weight of my increasing chest pulling things forward and down. My hips and thighs were really sore too. The pregnancy is really starting to feel more extreme. The belly is sticking out more and more and the thing still seems to be in a really high position. Its kicks and/or hits are really, really strong now. I don’t know if this is from the decreasing amniotic fluid that happens around this time, the decreasing room as it grows by a pound a week, or what, but when I’m hungry and haven’t started eating, it gets really angry and lets me know it.

Sen Zushi never disappoints for lunch in downtown Victoria.

All the books have been saying for a while to get a bag for the hospital packed for the mother, the partner, and the fetus. Everyone tells you different things to pack. It’s confusing and overwhelming. I mean, I don’t want to show up there with giant suitcases like I’m moving into the Four Seasons for a month, but I also don’t want to forget something because I’ll be there a little longer than “normal” pregnant women just due to the medications I’m on and the fact that they have to do blood tests a couple of days after the birth and put me on a new dose before I can leave (and observe me to make sure I’m doing okay). We have a tiny pile of stuff that we’ve started to take to the hospital, but I can’t pack a lot at this point, because my clothes are in use- I don’t have many at this point, so it’s not like I can just pack them up for potentially a month give or take days or weeks. But having something ready to go does seem like a good idea, because I doubt I’ll feel like packing when I have labour pains (the Braxton Hicks contractions feel like menstrual cramps and I certainly don’t enjoy them, so labour will undoubtedly feel much, much worse).

My husband and I have also been reviewing worksheets in the books given to us at the prenatal classes to figure out what to do leading up to the trip to the hospital (there might be 12-18 hours to kill before it’s time to go, but while I’m in early labour). The suggestion of the instructor to bake a cake seems like a delicious one, so maybe we’ll do that.

Today, my husband’s firm had a baby shower for us. I was shocked and overwhelmed that they wanted to hold one. I had kind of thought we’d skate through this whole pregnancy baby shower free. We had lunch at the firm, played a trivia game with my husband’s colleagues, and they gave us some very beautiful and thoughtful presents to open. Their kindness and interest in our pregnancy made us feel very special.

A view from a parkade downtown.

The new place is starting to feel more like home and readier to have a baby in, but I still really can’t picture what it will be like. It’s such an alien thought having something or someone else live with you when you’re used to it just being just the two of you or perhaps the two of you plus a cat (although now we don’t even have a kitty, so we are truly alone). But I guess we’ll find out soon enough. Apparently only 2-4% of babies arrive on their due date, so who knows when we’ll actually find out what it feels like, but now that I’m 36 weeks, it feels like more of a certainty that we actually will know what it’s like to be parents after a seven year odyssey to get there (including a miscarriage and a full cycle of IVF to get pregnant this time).

36 weeks pregnant.

35 Weeks Pregnant: How Did the Time Just Disappear, Another Visit to the Maternity Doctor, Nesting, and the Alien World of Baby Accoutrement

Last weekend, was filled with pregnancy related stuff, we did our last all day prenatal class on Saturday at the Mothering Touch, where we did more on labour, how to swaddle a baby, breastfeeding, and what the first two weeks postpartum might be like.

I'm sure that swaddling a moving baby is even worse than a doll . . .

A lovely lunch at Sen Zushi in the break for lunch during class was just what we needed.

After that class, we went to Toys ‘R Us to look at baby related stuff including strollers, bottles, car seats, etc. A lovely employee took pity on us when she saw us sitting on a shelf in the stroller section looking beleaguered and demoralized. She showed us some of the main stroller system models (ie. It has a car seat included) and how to collapse the strollers and take out the car seats (this is like some sort of magic- it’s going to take some practice to get used to a lot of this). She gave us so many helpful pointers for what we could look for in choosing a stroller system. She was so wonderful that we left the store feeling empowered and much less hopeless. We then went to Shoppers Drug Mart to pick up some diapers, baby wipes, bath stuff to bath the baby in, and some diaper rash cream. So, bit by bit we are getting ready.

Sunday was Mother’s Day and this time it felt somewhat less depressing as my husband and I had something to actually celebrate, we almost have a child in the flesh. It’s visible, the kicks can be seen through my belly and felt strongly by both of us, we’re almost at our due date, and should it be born premature it actually has a good chance of surviving.

My husband made me lovely blueberry pancakes on Mother's Day.

As of yesterday, I was 35 weeks pregnant, which means 5 weeks until my due date (neither of us can believe we’re down to five weeks less a day until the due date now- where did the time go?). Naturally, since only about 2% of babies show up on their due date, a due date is really just arbitrary and usually doesn’t mean much (unless you’re entirely punctual like I was and show up on your exact due date), but it gives the mother something to shoot for (in five weeks my bladder may not have the capacity of a squirrel’s bladder, I may not be getting up every hour to go pee at night, walking even short distances may not be an exhausting and painful production, I will have full lung capacity again). But it also raises terror within me. I’ve never done this before and the prospect of going into something without qualifications or education (excluding our two day long prenatal classes plus hospital tour) or a degree makes me feel more than a little uneasy. However, I suppose if millions of other people have managed it, maybe I can too. I just don’t want to destroy my child’s life. My fears are much more existential than focussed towards the labour itself (I’ve had so many major surgeries by this point that I can deal with the thought of physical pain, it’s uncertainty and psychological peril that bothers me).

35 weeks pregnant.

Now that I’ve hit 5 weeks from my due date, I feel especially driven to make sure that we have everything that we might need for the first little bit when the thing arrives. The prenatal classes gave some helpful suggestions of bare-bones essentials for a new baby and my husband and I have been working through the list. Unfortunately, the baby accoutrement industry is big business, which means that there are millions of options. Spoiler alert- they all cost way more than what you would thing tiny things that are basically disposable like everything else in our society would cost. We have had to spend quite a bit of time researching various items like strollers/car seat systems, formula and formula makers or bottle warmers (I’m only allowed to breastfeed for two weeks then I must switch to formula due to my medication), baby monitors, baby carriers, etc..

Then there’s the fact that we just moved. I’ve been working at a frantic and frenetic pace that has scared my husband more than a little, but I just feel driven to have things more or less unpacked and organized before the thing arrives and our lives become too chaotic and exhausting to be able to do much other than care for it and ourselves. I was unpacking a box of my old stuffed animals the other day and I came upon a few things that I started squirreling away for a future baby years ago when we were first starting to try to get pregnant. It had been so long since I had bought them that I had forgotten about them. I almost burst into tears when I thought about how hopeful we had been back then and how over time we had gradually become demoralized to the point where we could not even look at anything to do with children or babies, let alone buy anything (we didn’t really buy anything for the baby until a couple of weeks ago because we were so afraid that we would have another miscarriage).

My husband has been so busy with work that he hasn’t had much time to help in this quest to provision a nursery/baby, but he did come with me last night to pick up the stroller/car seat system that we ordered online from Canadian Tire, but had to pick up at the nearest store (we originally tried it out in person at Toys ‘R Us and liked it because it was smooth, good for rough trails like in parks and sidewalks without ramps, and its handle was high so perfect for two tall people like us). Lucky he did come with me too, the box was gigantic and heavy. All I can say is that these babies seem to come with a lot of baggage. But at least now that we have a car seat, we could actually have a baby at this point and get it back from the hospital. Trying to work the stroller and car seat last night after my husband put it together made me feel like an idiot and after a long day of cleaning the old place, organizing this place, more housework, errands, and shopping for baby clothes at the Salvation Army (and I finally used up that coupon they gave me for donating stuff last year- how thrifty) I felt so exhausted and demoralized that I just gave up and left the room. I guess it will just take practise.

Since I can't fit as much in my stomach anymore, yet get ravenous more often, small frequent meals seems to be the key. The thing was kicking like crazy when I was shopping at the Salvation Army, so I stopped to have a bowl of soup after.

This week I only had two pregnancy related appointments, massage therapy and the maternity doctor. The maternity doctor entailed giving a urine sample as usual, getting weighed, having my blood pressure done, having my fundal height measurement taken, and listening to the fetal heartbeat. The doctor still has no concerns. He palpated my abdomen (Ahhh! Bladder!!!!) to try to determine the position of the fetus, but was unable to tell without “significant further discomfort” he said. He agrees that it looks like it’s hanging out really high in my abdominal cavity, by my ribs (is that why I can’t breathe and keep having panic attacks?!), but he can’t tell if it’s head down or in breech. He told me that the fundal height measurement is on the large normal to perhaps just slightly over normal measurement, but nothing to be alarmed about, especially given the high position of the fetus. He said that next appointment, in two weeks, I will get the swab for Strep B, an examination of my cervix (oh goody), and at that point he will try again to determine the position of the fetus. If this is not possible or the fundal height measurement seems too big or anything else seems off, he will just send me for an ultrasound.  He gave the number for the answering service that I will call when I go into labour (apparently this often happens outside of office hours- inconsiderate babies!). He also discussed with me the different types of formula that exist on the market, which I really appreciated because I had no idea where to even start when looking for one.

At the maternity doctor's office.

Massage therapy I went to after a particularly gruelling day of cleaning the old place. My pelvis, low back, thighs, hips, and round ligaments are all really sore every day now, but after days of a lot of activity like cleaning, moving, unpacking, I hobble like an aged person. Getting out of bed is becoming more of a challenge, not just because of the nest of pillows and increasing bulk on my abdomen (the baby is apparently putting about one pound a week on by itself at this stage), but also because unfurling myself from the fetal position on either side which they advise you to sleep in when pregnant and then trying to go to an upright position, stretched out, is agonizing on all the overstretched ligaments, expanding skeleton, and overtaxed muscles. My massage therapist thought that my concern about not finding any stretches that really worked for me for stretching out my round ligaments might actually be overblown. She thought that stretching out overstretched ligaments might actually be bad and I should just follow the advice of my maternity doctor and put my feet up more and do less (easier said than done when you’re nesting and you only have just over a month left until your due date and need to create a functional nursery still). It did feel good having an hour long massage (albeit it was painful in various spots in particular like my low back and hips), but getting up after an hour and having to unfurl to a fully upright position with a very full bladder was very painful. Pregnancy is a lot more extreme than I thought that it would be, but I remind myself every day that I am so fortunate to get to experience this, let alone for this long, given that I couldn’t get pregnant for years, suffered a miscarriage, and had to have IVF to establish this pregnancy.

We spent today cleaning the old place (and then we went to Walmart to shop for more baby things- I could barely walk by the end and I’m absolutely exhausted now) and after our inspection with the two landladies we’ll be rid of it and I will then only have one address to manage. I can’t wait to have less gruelling cleaning/moving to do. A word to the wise, moving about a month before your due date is highly challenging and not pleasant. I would not recommend it.

Let this moving nightmare end. I'm sick of cleaning.

34 Weeks Pregnant: Medical Appointments, Preparing a Nest, and Shock at the Fast Approaching Due Date

The sun is setting on our carefree childless lives.

It’s been two weeks since my last update, so here’s an update.

The weekend before last, my husband and I spent moving things from our old place to our new place, cleaning, and shopping for stuff for the new place. We also voted in the advance polls for the provincial election in BC.

The thing's first election.

Last week I had blood tests done for my thyroid levels.

The following day I visited the maternity doctor, Dr. Down. He said that he had no concerns at all with my pregnancy, but that the fundal height measurement was significantly larger than the previous weeks. He said that if my measurements continued to grow at a larger than normal rate that an ultrasound might be ordered. He thought though that the height increase could be caused by the position of the fetus. I had to agree because the last couple of weeks the fetus has been sitting up really high in my abdominal area (hello, rib discomfort!). I also still felt like I had a urinary tract infection. My previous lab test two weeks ago had not shown a urinary tract infection, but had shown abnormal amounts of bacterial growth in my urine. Since I had all the symptoms and my doctor says that urinary tract infections often present in strange ways when women are pregnant, he prescribed antibiotics and some pyridium for the pain.

At Dr. Down's office.

The endocrinologist that afternoon stated that my thyroid levels were perfect and that no increase in medication was needed at that point, but might be before the end of the pregnancy. He said that I had gained hardly any weight in the past month. Then he said something than almost made me faint. He told me to start eating ice cream before bed at night. What!? Apparently when a woman is overweight and pregnant, towards the end of the pregnancy the fetus starts using up all her sugars and this causes her body to burn fat for energy. This produces ketones which cross the placenta and this can harm the fetus. In order to prevent this, having something with sugar in the evening before bed can help hold the body until breakfast. My endocrinologist specified that it should be cheap ice cream with pectin in it which makes it harder for the body to digest and therefore will make it last in the body longer.

I had another visit to the chiropractor for an adjustment last week. While my back was doing better than it had been in a while, my round ligaments and hips have been bothering me. But a lot of this is just pregnancy. The adjustments help, but nothing will take away all the discomfort. I just remind myself every time I feel uncomfortable that I’m lucky to be pregnant and that I should never take that for granted.

I spent the entire last week taking carloads of stuff from our old place to our new place. This was grueling, exhausting, and tedious, but I was able to move a lot and unpack and organize at the new place quite a bit. Plus, carrying boxes up two flights of steps one at a time was an amazing workout.
My lovely parents in law returned to town in the middle of the last week to help us more with fixing up the new place and helping us to move stuff in and organize. The relief of having someone to help us prepare our nest helped to calm my anxieties somewhat. They also brought a bag full of some clothes for the fetus, books, and a couple of beautiful blankets that my mother in law made herself. I was overwhelmed by their kindness, love, and generosity. Naturally, moving is always a nightmare, but with help it seems less daunting. By the time they left at the end of last weekend, I felt that our new place would work when the thing arrived (with more unpacking, organizing, and preparation of the room for it).

Filling and refilling these  Rubbermaid containers is actually a really great way to move bit by bit.

I hit 33 weeks pregnant last Friday and my parents in law were there to celebrate this milestone with us. We never thought we’d be lucky enough to get pregnant again, even with IVF, let alone make it this far through a pregnancy. We feel so fortunate.

A note on moving while pregnant, I do not recommend it. Moving is gruelling and stressful and especially towards the end of a pregnancy it really takes its toll. The stress and anxiety is awful. The physical symptoms that moving causes are also annoying. I have found that my round ligaments, hips, and back are so sore from all of the moving.

The new place is providing inspiration for writing, but moving is such a hassle.

This last weekend was the start of prenatal classes at the Mothering Touch. We chose a format where we took class all day on Saturday, 9:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m..  We have another all day class tomorrow. We also had a hospital tour last night at Victoria General Hospital as part of the package. The classes come with a handbook for the mother and a handbook for the birthing partner. They also provided snacks in the morning and afternoon (we were free for an hour to go for lunch wherever we wanted to or bring our lunch- we chose to go to our favourite Japanese restaurant, Sen Zushi, for a delicious bento box).

The class itself provided some useful nuggets like how to time contractions, at what point one should actually go to the hospital (if one goes too early, one will just be sent home), things to bring to the hospital, and essentials to buy for a baby (this is something we’ve been really struggling with because we don’t want to end up with a bunch of unnecessary stuff that clutters up the place and never gets used). We practised various positions to labour in (FYI they are all pretty weird and uncomfortable, but I guess you’re already so uncomfortable maybe being in a contorted position all of a sudden feels comfortable?), how birthing partners could help coach the labouring person through the pain, and we held ice in our bare hands and practised breathing exercises and then the birthing partner coaching us through the ice pain (I found the visualization of yellow diamonds that my husband provided to be very helpful and almost forgot to drop the ice when the time was up). We discussed pain control methods that were available at the hospital and pros and cons of each.

At Sen Zushi for lunch in the middle of our class day.

At the hospital tour of Victoria General Hospital, we were told which entrance to go to if we arrived in the night vs. the day, where the maternity floor is, what a birthing room looks like and what’s in it, what the rooms look like where the mother and baby are taken after (there are private rooms and shared rooms), and some of the other rooms and features of the ward. The woman giving us the tour told us some useful things to bring to the hospital, what not to bring, strategies for feeding the birthing partner (food is only provided to the mother), and other useful tips (she’s been a doula for years). I had seen some of the floor from when my sister gave birth, but seeing more of it, and hearing some tips, dos, and don’ts was helpful. It will be less alien when we end up there in around six weeks.

I was on antibiotics for one week and the symptoms seemed to mostly disappear, however, naturally since I’m six weeks from my due date and the fetus is kicking and pressing on my bladder I still have urgency and frequency of urination that are more than in my pre-pregnancy life. Also, the antibiotics seemed to cause diarrhea and nausea towards the end. However, those could just be symptoms of the late pregnancy. Who knows. All I know is that I had a massage scheduled earlier this week and after getting on the table I was so sick that I had to rush to the bathroom and then cancel the massage. I also may have overdone it with all of the moving, packing, unpacking, and cleaning of the old and new place. It’s hard to tell.

I also had acupuncture this week. My visits will be switching from monthly as they have been for the past many months, to two weeks from now, then weekly to prepare my body for the birth. Mention of preparing my cervix and perineum for the birth via acupuncture sounded strange, but I guess there are points for that that someone figured out years ago. In any event, it won’t hurt and may help and it’s mostly covered by insurance, so why not try it?

I had my lithium levels tested at the lab this week and reviewed my results online at myehealth.ca which is where Life Labs reports results of patients (if you sign up to access your results online you find them there). My levels were excellent and my kidney functions were totally normal. This means that I do not have to return to my perinatal psychiatrist before the birth (unless my results are out of range in a month when I retest or I have an episode, but hopefully it will be relatively smooth sailing from here).

At the lab again for yet another blood test.

This week I’m feeling continuing round ligament pain, hip and back pain, and significant rib pain (and shortness of breath) as the fetus occupies even more of my abdominal cavity and grows bigger by the week. I suspect the rib pressure and shortness of breath has contributed to the panic attacks I’ve been having this last week on a daily basis. Although, maybe it’s the stress of moving and the fast approaching due date.

Time is running out.

I feel exhausted, but the drive to nest is interesting and has given me strength to move more than I would have thought that I’d be able to. I’m still not napping during the day and I’m sleeping a fair number of hours at night. I just know I have to keep going, so that I’m ready for when the thing arrives in around six weeks and my life changes forever.

33 weeks pregnant.

34 weeks pregnant.

32 Weeks Pregnant- Aches, Pains, Cramps, Kicks, Grief, Blood Tests, Appointments, Moving, and Probably Less Than Two Months Left

The spring in Victoria is full of flowery delights.

It’s high time for a proper update. The last time I provided a full update on my pregnancy (I’m not including the babymoon post), I was 25 weeks pregnant. Today I am 32 weeks pregnant or just over seven months pregnant. While I was on that babymoon (read upon our French Polynesian babymoon on our travel blog), people were still surprised (and some disbelieving) that I was pregnant, let alone in my third trimester, but there’s no mistaking it now. Over the past few weeks, my belly has grown a lot and is really sticking out now, as the thing has lodged itself high up and its head or perhaps butt is jutting out of my high stomach. I can’t say that this placement is particularly comfortable, especially for my cramped lungs and other organs, but I really doubt if any particular placement is comfortable. I’m just grateful that it's still alive and that I’ve made it this far. I still have trouble believing that I’m 32 weeks pregnant, when I didn’t even think I’d be lucky enough to get pregnant a second time after my miscarriage, even from IVF, let alone carry a fetus for this long (and without any complications at all so far).

I'm still wearing this same tunic as in my second trimester, but the stomach has filled out a lot, so its length has definitely decreased.

I have not noticed any fetal hiccups as some women do when they’re pregnant, but the strength of the kicks from the fetus has definitely been increasing. I notice them more often now too. Sometimes it feels like the thing does a complete somersault in my uterus, which is a totally weird sensation. I can see the shape of my belly change sometimes as it changes position. My husband is already clearly besotted with the thing and spends his spare time away from the office, at home, talking to my belly, singing to my belly, and stroking it.

I have also noticed an increase in “annoying” symptoms over the past few weeks, these include lots of bladder pressure (somebody likes sitting on it and kicking it) and some urgency too. I definitely go to the bathroom a lot, even in the night. I sometimes feel like I won’t make it to the bathroom in the middle of the night in time if I sleep more than about two hours (it doesn’t help that I’ve been really thirsty and drinking water like a fish through the day and night), especially since getting out of bed has become more of a production between extracting myself from my nest of pillows and just trying to maneuver my heavy and unbalanced body out of bed and then trying to straighten up with the stiff round ligaments in my abdomen and my achy back.

I just touched above on the problems with round ligaments during pregnancy. They have been particularly annoying over the past few weeks. They get very tight and sore, especially when I go for long walks or sit for too long. I feel elderly, as I try to straighten up from sitting or get up from lying in bed, just because my round ligaments are so stiff that I have to slowly straighten up and consequently straighten them to avoid painful spasms (round ligaments support the uterus in the abdominal area and when a woman is pregnant they become much more stretched than usual, which can lead to pain and spasms).

On the other side, my back has been bothering me on and off. Partly I think it’s just the increased weight and the counterbalance which is now on my stomach, the fetus, but the other part I'm guessing has to do with when the fetus is in a particularly uncomfortable position and perhaps poking an appendage into my spine- this seems to cause spasms in my low back/hip area.

My hips are definitely feeling less stable and more stretched out (and not in a good way) and I find myself walking slowly and hobbling when I first get up from sitting or from bed.

Even last week, I was taking my 7 km walks, but this seems to be getting a bit much, as it takes me a couple of days to recover now (stiff round ligaments, back, and hips) and the maternity doctor thinks that perhaps shorter walks and more time with my feet up is what I should be doing now.

In general, I feel awkward (not that I’m normally a graceful swan). I have noticed an increase in spontaneously losing my balance when I’m just standing around, dropping things, running into things (still trying to get used to this new bigger form), my walking pace is slower and more laboured, going from sitting to standing takes longer and is even less graceful, getting out of bed makes me feel like a beetle stuck on its back, and I’m getting tired more easily.

I feel like I'm moving as slowly as this fuzzy caterpillar.

This week I have suddenly experienced some abdominal cramping (but no bleeding) and it comes and goes at random. From my reading, this appears to be Braxton Hicks contractions (which are false labour pains and frequently occur in the third trimester as a way for the body to prepare the uterus for real labour). I have not been enjoying them (although I doubt that anyone does). They feel like menstrual cramps to me (although they don’t bother some women). I’ve put a heating pad on intermittently over my abdomen and back to relax and soothe the area and have taken Tylenol, but really there’s not much one can do.

Now a note on my current mental state. On the babymoon, I experienced some anxiety and panic attacks, but this was mostly due to the stress of travel (particularly that awful, awful, awful Air France flight on the way back, not that the one on the way there was great either), and the hotness and humidity of the air, which made my shortness of breath go from just annoying to panic attack level (cooling down in the ocean, snorkeling, seemed to cure this every day though). My mood on the babymoon generally improved as I was able to be around my husband all the time and felt reassured by his presence (he had to be away for most of the first almost six months of the pregnancy due to work).

A benefit of having my husband around at home is occasional treats like these Easter blueberry pancakes that he made for me.

Upon returning home from the babymoon though, the unexpected sickness of our almost 16 year old cat and having to say goodbye to him the day after we arrived home was devastating. I spent at least the first week in bed for almost all day and all night. It’s been hard to be in this place where we live now, looking at all the places where I used to see him sleeping, not having him steal my place on the couch, not having him keep me company in bed sleeping in in the morning, not having him keep us company all the time, and the almost unbearable silence. This place is empty without him. I have never lived without at least one cat since I was six years old. This has been utterly shattering and the stress of this on top of the pregnancy has pushed me to my limit. However, I’m dealing with this better now than I would have earlier in the year when I was going through a mixed episode of my bipolar disorder and part of my improved coping ability is because my lithium levels are at a good level again (and part of it is normal seasonal fluctuation of mood for me).

How do you say goodbye to your cat of 16 years?

Now on to the medical appointments. When I returned from the babymoon, I was 28.5 weeks pregnant. This made it the perfect time to go to the lab to have my gestational diabetes screen done. This blood test is done from 28 weeks onwards usually. My blood sugars were found to be in the normal range, so I don’t have gestational diabetes. They also tested my blood for things like my iron level. This is still on the low side, but in a normal range thanks to taking ferrous fumerate supplements since the second trimester. I am to continue taking these iron supplements even for a while after giving birth to ensure my body has adequate iron.

My maternity doctor has done two check ups on me since I’ve returned (from 28 weeks onwards the appointments go from once a month to once every two weeks). He says that my blood pressure is still perfect, my fundal height measurement is still in the normal range, the fetal heartbeat sounds normal, and he has no concerns at all about my pregnancy. After the struggle my husband and I had to get pregnant, it has been almost eerie hearing from the maternity doctor each appointment that he has no concerns at all about the fetus or my pregnancy. It feels almost too good to be true, but we’ll take it.

What is with the lighting in medical office buildings? And the wall colours?

When I returned from the babymoon, I also had my thyroid levels tested again at the lab. They were found to be at good levels (thanks to my endocrinologist increasing my dose of levothyroxine just before I left for the babymoon, in anticipation of my body and the growing fetus requiring more) and therefore my doses of levothyroxine and liothyronine remained the same. He was particularly pleased that I only gained two pounds in the five weeks since I had seen him (my maternity doctor is much less concerned with me gaining some weight in the pregnancy). My levothyroxine dose is at about double what it was before I was pregnant. Levothyroxine dose requirements tend to skyrocket during pregnancy for a few reasons, increasing blood volume and fluid in the pregnant woman, increased weight of the pregnant woman, and the fetus’ demands increasing the metabolism of the pregnant woman dramatically. As I have explained in previous posts, poor thyroid levels in pregnancy can lead to tragic consequences including miscarriage and a lower IQ in the fetus.

I will be following up with my endocrinologist again next week (four weeks after my last appointment), after I go to the lab to have my thyroid levels checked again. My endocrinologist told me that the levothyroxine levels will have to be decreased overnight as soon as I give birth (this is because as I mentioned above, my dose is way higher now than it was before and if I stayed on that dose after birth I would go from euthyroid or normal thyroid levels to hyperthyroid, which has its own share of nightmare symptoms). My endocrinologist shared some parting advice with me at the end of the last appointment. He told me to have small frequent meals to control my blood sugar (and avoid dramatic spikes), so that the fetus would not grow at too fast of a rate- he said that I would appreciate this during childbirth. Duly noted and given that my internal organ space is being monopolized more and more by the thing, I can’t really eat big meals anymore anyways, so small, more frequent meals seem to be the way to go.

Beautiful blue flowers in spring.

I had my lithium levels tested the week after I returned from the babymoon and then went to my perinatal psychiatrist for an appointment. My lithium level was perfect, I was feeling better than I had earlier in the winter/spring, and she had no concerns. She says that unless my levels get out of wack before the delivery (I will continue having monthly blood tests of my lithium level, which I can then monitor online) or I feel unstable, she doesn’t have to see me until after I give birth (she will maintain me as a patient for at least some months after the birth until I am discharged again into the care of my regular psychiatrist).

The perinatal psychiatrist informed me that when I go into labour, I will stop taking my lithium carbonate that day and will not take it the day after (I’m on a higher dose now than I was before I became pregnant and when the body rapidly loses a bunch of fluid in childbirth, taking the same dose of lithium after the birth can lead to lithium toxicity). Two days after the birth, the hospital will take my lithium level and the supervising psychiatrist will then start me on an appropriate lower dose of lithium carbonate. I will then likely be discharged from the hospital (they sometimes keep women after childbirth who have a perinatal psychiatrist for up to ten days if they’re not doing well, but this is uncommon and most people are out in a couple of days, which I guess is much longer than women who don’t have a psychiatrist who are pretty much kicked out of the hospital right after the birth).

My perinatal psychiatrist warned me again to maintain my boundaries against people who cause me a great deal of stress and distress and could impact my mood and mental state and could thereby contribute to a destabilization in my condition which is currently stable. Unfortunately, most of these people are related to me, so it creates a very awkward situation for me (at a time when I should be able to turn to my family, I must turn away for my own health). She told me that if people are not willing to change and be kind a respectful towards me and stable enough to depend on, not only would it not be good for me, but that now I would have a baby to think of and I can’t risk exposing it to people who are haphazardly in and out of my life, intermittently drunk and/or abusive, and who refuse to apologize for past wrongs or to make any effort to get help for their various problems and conditions. I know I've had my share of problems in the past, but I have put an incredible amount of work into seeking help, working on myself, and righting past wrongs. I wish that others would or perhaps could do the same.

I will be seeing my maternity doctor again next week. The MOA at Dr. Down’s office told me that the only test that’s really left for me to do is a "strep screening" (for Group B Streptococcus bacteria that can pose a risk to babies and can be passed to them from an infected mother during childbirth) at 35-36 weeks. Depending on the outcome of that test, antibiotics may be required. In anticipation of this, my naturopath placed me on a particular strain of probiotics that will hopefully prevent me from needing antibiotics. Who knows if this is likely to help or work, but I don’t really enjoy taking antibiotics, so I’ll try anything.

My mood can't help but lift when I photograph and haiku about the delights of spring.

There is no doubt that pregnancy and babies are a big industry and there is an astounding amount of “stuff” available. I’m still wearing the same non-pregnancy bigger clothes that I bought in my second trimester plus some pre-pregnancy dresses and tops that I wore earlier in the pregnancy. The only maternity item I bought was a shirt from Old Navy and personally I don’t think it’s that great. I would definitely continue to populate my wardrobe in my next pregnancy (if I’m lucky enough to get a second pregnancy) with non-maternity clothes in bigger sizes. Maternity clothes seem to be really expensive and really not that great (plus a lot of places seem to use artificial fabrics and I’m not going to wear those no matter how desperate I am). Yes, I don’t have a lot of selection of clothing, but who cares? It’s not like I’m going to look at my most glamorous at this point anyways, as I hobble around with my sore back and ligaments, groaning, and wondering what I’ll have for my next snack or why I have to go pee again. Regarding shoes, so far I’ve been able to keep wearing my sandals, runners, and mukluks and I haven’t needed anything more than that, so other than the reef shoes that I had to buy before the babymoon (my existing ones were too tight) and the flip flops I had to buy on the babymoon when my feet were really, really swollen from flying and the heat and humidity, I haven’t needed to buy new shoes (but I have noticed my more form fitting shoes are tighter due to both some swelling and the ligaments relaxing in the feet- who knows if my feet will go back to normal after the pregnancy or not- some women actually change shoe sizes). Oh, and by the way, with less than two months to go now, I’m still able to wear my engagement and wedding rings, but I do notice my fingers are definitely swollen- who knows if I’ll have to take them off before the pregnancy ends (a lot of women do).

Continuing on the topic of "stuff," once you’re done with the pregnancy, there’s a whole host of baby stuff that various sources say that you can’t live without. Unfortunately, every list is different. Even the most “bare bones” lists seem to include things that seem unnecessary to me. But who am I to judge? I’ve never had a baby before, so how would I know what I need. Hopefully the prenatal classes that my husband and I start next weekend will make it clearer what we must have. I don’t want a place crammed full of unnecessary stuff, but on the other hand I don’t want to be without what I actually need (especially because I don’t see myself being out and about shopping for a while after the birth). My mother-in-law gave my husband and I a concerned look when we showed her what we had so far for the baby when she was in town last week- a free bottle that we got from a maternity store (that I never bought anything from), a stuffed turtle that Le Meridien in Bora Bora gave to us, and that was it. While my mother-in-law was here, a box arrived from Indigo- my husband and I had finally spent our gift cards from a couple of Christmases ago and we bought a onesie (but it’s in a 6-month size, so not useful for a while), a three pack of bibs (who knows if you need those only when they start eating food or from the beginning, I don’t know), and some washcloths. So, yeah, we don’t really have anything at this point, but given that we’re moving (see below), what’s the point in loading up now, and having to move stuff, and not having anywhere to put it in the mean time?

Moving is always a nightmare, but I’d say it’s even more of nightmare when you’re 7-8 months pregnant. My ability to lift has been drastically curtailed, my stamina for cleaning is less (plus certain cleaners are not recommended and you can’t paint), and I feel even more anxious than I normally would about having things unpacked and ready in short order, because I’m due on June 23rd and who knows when the baby will actually show up. We’ve been looking for a place to move to forever, but had no luck due to market conditions (Victoria has an even lower rental vacancy rate than Vancouver now, 0.5% vs. 0.7%, oh and Toronto is 1.2% by the way, but since it’s the centre of the universe, people there are having even more dramatic struggles than us) that have led to not just a lack of inventory, but also skyrocketing prices. Anything that did look affordable (almost nothing because we were looking for a house) was either shocking or in a terrifying neighbourhood/ way out of town, or both. We wanted to rent a house (because buying a house in Victoria is not affordable or a good investment in our eyes, the average price in the core is $950,000, yet the average household income is $88,000- how does that work?!), but rental prices have gone up so much and there are practically no houses available for rent (they’re all being sold on the hot market where everyone in Victoria now looks at their house’s BC Assessment figure and thinks that they’re a millionaire because on paper they very well might be now so they must cash in- but I digress).

All of a sudden, out of the blue, my cousin who had just moved, kindly offered to rent me his house, as he had taken it off the market and had decided to hold it instead. The house is close to where we live now, in a safe and quiet neighbourhood, and has the space that we need now that it’s not just going to be just my husband and I. The house also had some maintenance issues though and the deal was that we would fix them up ourselves. So, we called the people that we knew that we could rely upon to help us in our time of need (and panic), my husband’s parents. They gladly dropped everything and came down the next week and spent a week here helping up to fix up problems in the house and clean it up. They’re coming back next week for another week to help again. Then we’ll be able to actually move into the place in mid May or so, barely more than a month ahead of my due date. It will be tight, but I’m just so relieved to be moving, and so grateful that my cousin is renting us his place, and that my parents-in-law are helping us and reassuring us that the place will be suitable and in good condition for us to bring our first child home to. I still can’t believe how lucky I am to have my parents-in-law. It’s true that you don’t get to choose family, but at least you can choose a partner who has the family that you wish that you had always had and they can be there for you in a way you never thought that a family would be or could be.

25 weeks pregnant. This was just before we left for the babymoon.

The difference in my stomach at 31 weeks was very noticeable.

32 weeks pregnant, less than two months to go (unless it's late).