Gonal F, Menopur, Dexamethasone, Hormonal Side Effects, and I'm Definitely Suffering From General Wretchedness Disorder (GWD)

Last night was night four of my hormone injections (and the close of day four of Dexamethasone tablets), Menopur and Gonal F in the lead up to having IVF for the first time. I can do the injections unassisted and with an impressive speed and confidence now. But it seems that the side effects are building as the hormones concentrate in my system. For the first time, last night after injecting myself with the two different hormones, I felt extremely dizzy, to the point where I had to sit down after putting away the medications, and I was clutching my head to try to make the room stop spinning (the dizziness made me feel nauseous too).

My typical night now looks like this.

All in all, the journey hasn't been as bad as my very overactive imagination led me to believe that it would be, but it hasn't been a cake walk either. The biggest side effects I'm experiencing are headache (terrible headache every day on and off throughout the day), bloating (particularly in the abdomen where I'm injecting the hormones, but also the extremities), an increase in the size and tenderness of my breasts, cramping (I think some of this has been related to the heavy period from the Estrace I took for two weeks, but part must be related to the gastrointestinal distress that the hormones seem to be causing, including gas), irritability ("what did you just say?!" Snarl!), anxiousness and a somewhat low mood, but not as bad as with Estrace (but who knows as these hormones build in my system), some sleep disturbances (but not as bad as with Estrace), indigestion once in a while (I'm noticing acid indigestion more often than usual),some stiffness in the back and neck (probably mostly due to inactivity from feeling so blah), nausea a few times, and some dizziness. Yesterday and this morning for the first time, I've noticed that my low back is starting to feel sore (where the ovaries are- apparently some women get so sore in the area from their ovaries swelling from the size of walnuts to grapefruits from the hormones causing many follicles to mature at the same time that they find it hard to even sit at the end of the hormone treatment). The other overarching symptoms or side effects that I'm feeling are low energy and general malaise.

One observing this list of symptoms or side effects that I'm experiencing, might conclude that I'm suffering from a condition that my husband and I like to call General Wretchedness Disorder or GWD. It's true that I don't feel my best, but compared to how I thought I'd be feeling after four days and nights of heavy hormones being injected into system (plus the tablets), I feel lucky (relatively speaking, of course it would be nice to not become an expert in shooting up with hormones daily, but we all have our lot in life). I'm not sure how I'll feel in a week, but so far this is livable.

At least, I'm still able to write a bit (but I'm not as mentally sharp and focused as usual), tidy the house, and cook, even if I'm not feeling well enough to socialize or exercise. I'm still moving around and doing something, even if it's as a shut-in.

Tomorrow morning, between 7:30 AM and 8:30 AM, I must visit the Victoria Fertility Centre for another pelvic ultrasound and blood test (they have a sheet that you sign when you arrive in the morning and it's done as a first come, first serve system for these morning slots). This visit is to monitor how many follicles are developing in my ovaries and what stage of development they are at (then Dr. Hudson can adjust my hormones as required, this could include ceasing Gonal F or continuing it, and adding in the other medications when required, like Cetrotide to stop the ovaries from releasing eggs before they can be harvested, to try to obtain an optimal amount and maturity of eggs during the egg retrieval).

I'm feeling really nervous about whether or not there will be enough follicles (since Dr. Hudson told me that I have a low egg reserve and you can never predict what will happen before hormones are attempted) and if they're developing adequately in order for us to be good candidates for IVF. I really hope that these weeks of hardship on heavy hormones haven't been for nothing. I can't imagine finding out at this point that I don't have enough eggs or good enough quality eggs to work with and that they can't even do IVF on me (this happens to some people especially after the egg retrieval stage, but sometimes even before, if enough follicles aren't developing, they might cancel the IVF cycle and then try again with a different hormone protocol next cycle that is more appropriate for non-responders, which though frustrating, would be less devastating than than finding out that you're not a candidate for IVF at all).

In the mean time, I need to think like my cat, no worries (except for food and avoiding water, baths not drinking it, and the evil dark lord, Vacuum).

My cat, Lamont, is my inspiration. How can I switch places with him?